


The Journey Back

by TaraxacumClocks (DandelionSea)



Series: Homeward [2]
Category: Underfell - Fandom, Undertale, underswap
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Depression, Experimentation, Gen, Medical Experimentation, Medical Torture, PTSD, Recovery, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6618259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DandelionSea/pseuds/TaraxacumClocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back home, Blue begins to adjust back to his life, but Papyrus struggles to regain a sense of normality from the insanity of the past few months.  And of course, their little "house guest" doesn't make anything easy.</p><p>(Sequel to The Way Back Home)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Memories Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a warning, this is can be read on its own for the first chapter, but I would highly recommend reading the first part in the series before starting on this. Thanks!

Sans doesn’t remember how he ended up in the strange underground where everything was backwards and corrupted. The last memory before everything went south was a fight with his brother.

Sans stormed out of the house, Papyrus calling after him in drunken slurs. Sans mumbled furiously as he stormed through the snow. That was just one too many times that he comes home to see his lazy brother stone drunk on the couch. Sans had asked him to stop - more times than he can count on all his fingers and toes - but it was like he doesn’t care!

Sans knew his brother could teleport to catch up to him, but Papyrus was just too lazy and didn’t care enough to chase after his brother - because he knew that Sans would just be back in the morning, like every other time he had run off.

Sans remembers wandering around for a long time, deeply regretting not bringing his scarf or a sweater in the perpetually cold Snowdin. He spent a lot of time in the woods crying. He would lift things up and throw them in frustration. Slowly, though, he cooled down and made his way home.

Sans’ memories become fuzzy from there - he remembers seeing a door he never knew existed behind the house.

He remembers exploring a lab-like room.

He remembers doing something…

Then he was suddenly outside again.

This next part, however, he remembers crystal clear - burned into the darkest corners of his memories like a brand on wood.

Shaking and shivering, Sans was trying desperately to make his way home, but every time he turned a corner, something felt…off. It was Snowdin forest, there was no denying that, but something about it seemed so much darker and soul-crushing. His normal checkpoints were either missing or… different. His little sentry station was gone, but his brother’s was still there - although when Sans looked at it, it was painted black and made of strong metal. How strange...

Sans was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice he was being followed until there was a hearty snap of a branch behind him.

“w-who’s there?” Sans stuttered, reaching slowly for his magic. Sans never, ever starts fights without being prompted, but a feeling of unhinged dread weighed down on him enough to summon an attack.

The person who had been following him seemed to take a moment to consider their next more, and then they slowly move into the light.

Sans smiled, relieved, and put away the attack. “oh, alphys, it’s just you.”

Alphys’ lips curled into some kind of mockery of a smile. “Just me? Sans, what an insult! I thought you knew better.” She clasped her hands behind her back and rolled onto her toes. Sans’ soul pulsed in warning. Something was wrong. Alphys didn’t…look right. For one, her Royal Guard armor was replaced with a simple - yet very dusty - lab coat. Sans tried to get a good look at her eye, but the glasses she was wearing obscured them - and since when had Alphys worn glasses?

“s-sorry, captain.” Sans quickly stood at attention, pushing his fear back. What was wrong with him? This is his friend! Why is he so…uncomfortable?

“Captain?” Alphys let out a weird snort. “Have you lost your mind? Undyne wouldn’t let me near the Royal Guard, much less in it.”

Sans cocked his head, confused. “why would the royal scientist not let you in the guard?”

Alphys’ expression morphed into a mirror of Sans’ own confusion, then it settled very quickly into that unsettling smile. “It seems you aren’t feeling too well, are you?” Sans was about to object but Alphys quickly shook her head, trotted closer and put a hand on his back. “Don’t worry, why don’t we go back to my place and I’ll take care of you.”

Sans opened his mouth, than closed it quickly. Alphys was right; after all, he wasn’t feeling so well. All of this paranoia was getting to him; maybe some quick sparring would settle him.

“okay.” Sans nodded at her, much to Alphys open surprise.

“Okay?” Alphys looked uncomfortable when Sans just nodded. She looked around as if expecting someone to pop out and tell her it was all a joke. “I...uh…really?”

“of course,” Sans says, smiling as wide as he could manage. “we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Friends? Ha! You really have lost your mind, huh?” Alphys shock mixed with glee as she pushed herself uncomfortably close to Sans. “That’s okay, I can work with crazy.”

“i…i don’t…”

“Shh.” Alphys voice fell, and a shiver made its way down Sans’ spine. “Don’t worry, the doctor has you now.”

Everything cuts off there. The next clear memory Sans has is waking up, arms and legs held firmly against a cold surface by leather straps. He struggled until he was sure his limbs would break, but nothing weakened the bonds.

“Awake so soon~?” A sickly sweet voice comes from just outside of Sans’ peripherals, masking itself in a deceptively friendly tone once again.

“l-let me go, you fiend! imposter!” Sans cried out, kicking his legs once, more only to yelp when he slams his already bruised ankle against the metal table. Sans felt the weight of the table shift as Alphys leaned in close behind him.

A soft giggling sounded behind him. “Oh, but wasn’t it your idea to come with me in the first place? I dare say all of this is your fault, hm?”

Sans struggled to turn his head enough to look the imposter in the eye. She looked so much like Alphys… but this couldn’t be the same person. No. This was…someone else. Finding his courage, Sans spoke as harshly as he could.

“who are you? what have you done with alphys!?” Sans had to actively struggle to keep the tremors out of his voice.

The Alphys-look-a-like just tilted her head and looked at him with inquisitive, but patient, smile. “I can assure you that I am Alphys, Sans.” Her eyes narrowed. “What game are you playing? Do you think I‘ll let you go if you feign insanity?” She let out a dark laugh that lit Sans’ soul with fear. “Oh, Sans, the things I want to. Do. To. You.”

Sans could no longer suppress his shuddering as Alphys walked out of his line of vision, her laughter low and menacing.

What was happening? Sans wondered for a long moment if maybe he had gone insane? Maybe he hit his head on something in Papyrus’ lab, and now he was having some kind of weird fever dream - because none of this could be real. This could _not_ be happening.

Right?

Alphys returned and set a large metal tray next to Sans. If a skeleton could pale, Sans would be even whiter. The tray contained several long, thin, surgical blades. Sans’ struggles picked up, and through his panic he could hear Alphys’ giggling.

“Oh come on, Sans, we haven’t even started yet.” Alphys said, slightly exasperated, “I always knew you were a coward but this is getting ridiculous.”

“w-what are y-you d-doing?” Sans stuttered, trying to calm himself down. There is no way this was happening. Alphys, no matter what, would never do anything to hurt him, right? But then again, this wasn’t Alphys, was it?

Alphys picked up one of the blades and dangled it above Sans’ face. “What do you think I’m doing?” Sans sputtered, trying and failing to find the words as Alphys continued.

“You skeletons have been plaguing my main girl’s life for quite some time now. _You_ are pretty easy to get rid of, but Papyrus on the other hand,” Sans shuddered at the thought of his brother. Oh God, did Papyrus know where he was? He must be worried sick! “Well… we’ll find your weakness, one way or another.” She leaned in forward and pressed the blade to his sternum.

That was when Alphys tore the hole in him and exposed his soul.

The walls echoed with horrible, soul-wrenching screams, and it took a long moment for Sans to register that it was coming from him. It was the worst pain he’d ever been in in his entire, short existence. Sans would occasionally plead with Alphys, but the only reaction this managed to incite was being forcefully gagged.

“There, much better.” She said after tying the rag around the back of his skull. “It’s too bad though, I was really enjoying listening to your screaming. You sound every bit like the little _bitch_ I thought you were.”

Sans couldn’t even thrash anymore, having gone deathly still an attempt to lessen the pain bursting through his chest. Alphys poked and prodded at his soul, causing horrible chills and nausea, along with other unpleasant effects. It was only a few more minutes before Sans lost consciousness, somewhere around the time when Alphys began trying to remove the soul from his body.

When he next woke up, he was alone and naked in a cage.

He curled up in the corner and shuddered, praying for all of this to be a dream, but the pain and terror were just too real for such a convenient excuse. Sans held his head in his hands for a long time, sobbing despite his abused throat.

The hole in his chest was still there, but thankfully his soul was relatively undamaged. Sans quietly fingered the edges of the gap, flinching back whenever he got too close to some raw place.

Finally, with nothing else to do, Sans tried to make himself somewhat comfortable in a tiny ball, adjusting himself in the tiny cage to favor the less injured side of his body.

That first night was the worst. The majority of it he spent crying or shaking, most of the time both. He would later learn to save his strength for the tests, for when he would need it the most, but at the time he was so confused and scared.

Alphys came for him the next day, and the next, and the next after that. Each day she would do something different, whether it was pour acid-like liquids on his soul, or cut large portions of his hand off to try and see if he could regrow them - it was always new and it was always painful. Mind numbingly painful.

Sans stopped pleading with her by the second day, only because on the third his voice was so damaged he could barely give hoarse keens as she cut him open.

“It’s so much easier when you just cooperate, isn’t it?” Alphys laughed when his voice finally gave out. “I think I like it better this way.”

The next time Sans got up the strength to speak, he had already lost count of the days since his capture, but his body hadn’t. Hunger clawed at him and his mind was clouded with fatigue. Still, when Alphys returned to the lab that day, Sans whispered as loudly as he could.

“please, i need something to eat.”

Alphys gave him a very annoyed look, as if the fact that Sans was starving was the most inconvenient thing to ever happen to her. Like when Sans would get onto his brother for leaving his honey out on the counter - annoyed, but not urgent. Sans shuddered.

Alphys did feed him, and from then on she made a point to feed him once every few days so he didn’t simply dust from hunger. There were many times Sans was in too much pain to have an appetite, but he forced himself to choke down whatever Alphys gave him, because if he didn’t he wouldn’t eat for another week and there’s no way he would survive that long. He couldn’t die before help came - because someone had to be coming for him.

Right?

Things really became interesting when Alphys discovered that the Sans she had caged up in her basement was not the same Sans that she had thought she’d captured. Sans didn’t understand at the time, but he knew she was not pleased. Alphys raged - throwing things, breaking things, and finally turning her anger to the skeleton shivering in the cage.

“If you’re not Sans, then there’s no reason to keep you in one piece anymore, is there?”

The experiments got much crueler after that.

The days blurred together, and many times Sans would think he was on the operating table only to readjust his eyes and be back in his cage. Sometimes it was the other way around. Occasionally, on days where the experiments weren’t so bad, Sans would try to speak with her again, only to find in horror that his tongue no longer obeyed him the way it was supposed to.

There is only one day after those first few that Sans can clearly recall. Alphys had been toying with his body, trying to find weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and at some point during the process Sans had started dusting. It was a horrifying feeling, having your body begin to break down. For a few moments it looked like he was done for - but Alphys stopped the process before he lost too much of himself. The experience shook Sans down to the core, because, for the first time, it actually occurred to him that he may not make it out of that place. He realized that it was possible, even likely, that he would die down here. And that just broke his heart, because if he did, he’d never get home to his brother, he would never see his Alphys or any of his other friends ever again. He’d never be part of the Royal Guard. There is so much he still wanted to do with his life, and now he realized that he may never get to.

Sans didn't even respond when Alphys came to collect him next.

Eventually, in the short periods between tests when his voice would actually have time to recover, Sans began to refrain from speaking. There wasn’t any point to it anymore, and it only lead to his throat hurting much worse when he would scream later.

Slowly, Sans retreated into his own broken mind. He started to block things out, spent barely any time thinking. It was almost like a living death. He was still aware enough to know when Alphys was coming, but often times he would black out and only become conscious again after she had deposited him in the cage, twinges of horrifying memories rattling around in his head.

As hard as he tried not to, Sans was giving up hope. Alphys had been getting more and more extreme with her experiments, and she was feeding him less and less. Sans knew she was getting bored with him, and as much as his natural optimism would tell him that maybe she’d just let him go, Sans knew that was not what would happen to him. Sans was very close to just accepting his death, all hope for rescue having left eons ago. No one was looking for him - anyone who cared probably thought he was dead already.

Even so, Sans still didn't want to die.

It took one night for everything to change

Sans woke from his fitful sleep to the sound of rummaging. Even though he had been asleep, Sans was sure enough time hadn’t passed for Alphys to be back yet. He looked around with an almost detached curiosity -

\- and came face to face with himself.

Only, not himself. Just like the rest of this strange world, this monster was almost like the one in the cage, except he looked just a little bigger, a little meaner. Unlike Sans’ normal taste for blue clothing, this one is dressed primarily in reds and blacks.

It took a moment for Sans to register the look on the red skeleton’s face.

Horror and disgust.

Sans felt his cheeks flush with shame, and he burrowed his face into his knees. Internally, Sans knew that he looked bad, but someone else looking at him for the first time must be…shocking. His body was ruined. It made him sick.

Sans’ head shot up at the sound of footsteps, and he moved back when he saw the other skeleton had begun moving towards him. As the latch was being undone, Sans instinctively backed even further away from the door, pressing his spine against the bars of the cage. Red (as Sans silently dubbed him) was saying something, but Sans was too panicked to understand. Was this guy a friend of Alphys’? Was he here to hurt him or help him?

Sans didn't have long to think about it before Red simply grabbed his arm and began trying to pull him out by force. The arm, unfortunately, had been broken several times and was healing poorly because of his limited, malnourished diet. Sans couldn't help but yell; it was painful. Red made a shushing noise that, as a trained response after God-knows-how-long in this hell hole, caused Sans to go slack and let the other pull him out.

Sans sat on the floor for a moment, confused. Alphys was nowhere in sight, and yet he was outside of his cage. This had never happened before. Sans hadn't seen anyone but Alphys in that dark hell for god knows how long. Could this really be a rescue?

When he turned his head to meet the gaze of his rescuer, he realized Red had a bone poised in his hand, approaching slowly with a blank look on his face. Sans instantly understood.

Oh.

He was going to kill him.

Sans jumped back, finding his way to the other end of the room in a desperate attempt to escape his menacing counterpart. His skull crashed against the edge of the table, making his vision swim crazily. Regardless, he continued to back away until he was literally cornered. Red slowed down, if only for a moment, seemingly confused and angered by Sans’ outburst - but Sans continued to push back, despite knowing that he couldn’t get any farther away from the other skeleton.

Red recovered, though, and continued forward towards the petrified Sans. There was no way out. He couldn’t fight him and he couldn’t run…

So he’ll beg.

“please! stop! i don’t- i don’t want-” Sans’ babbling only stopped when he saw the look of confusion on the other’s face. He didn’t understand him. Sans whimpered and stilled. For a moment the two simply looked at each other. Sans was taking deep, calming breaths. The other seemed to be readying an attack, and Sans resisted the urge to curl up on himself. He was scared, and hurt, and alone, but he wasn’t ready to die. Not just yet.

Sans did the only thing he could think of, and lunged at Red, wrapping his arms around his middle and pressing his face into his jacket.

Well, it didn’t _not_ work.

Red’s attack was paused mid-strike. Sans burrowed his face deeper into the fluff of Red’s jacket - the embrace giving him a feeling of pseudo-safety. He knew it wouldn’t last - nothing he could do would stop this other Sans from killing him if that's what he wanted. It had been so long since Sans has felt anything that even resembled hope, and the idea of being so close to freedom yet denied by an inch was just too much. Tiny sobs escaped him. He didn’t want to die!

Through the ever present haze in his mind, Sans could just understand a few words that Red says.

“...‘re scared...quick, I promise...won’t feel a thing…”

Sans’ shivering only increased at his counterpart’s promises, and he continued to sob into Red’s shirt. There was a long pause, than the air around them shifted. There was a hand on the back of his skull, pressing him against the fluffy coat. Red was summoning an attack.

Sans squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself.

“Who’s there?”

Sans’ mind came to a grinding halt. That was _her_ voice. Sans was terrified for himself and the other skeleton. It was bad enough that Sans was suffering down here; Who knew what she would do to them now?

Alphys’ voice was still ringing through her underground lair when Sans felt the world shift. It felt a lot like his brother’s shortcuts - actually, it was _exactly_ like his brother’s shortcuts!

There were several of them, until finally everything stopped. Red dropped Sans onto the snow and stumbles back

Sans blinked several times, mind swimming and trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. White covered his vision, and after spending weeks in the Hotland lab Sans was finally missing his clothes that might have given him some protection from this cold.

Sans didn’t even have time to register where he was before he noticed Red’s temper tantrum. His loud cries of rage terrified Sans, and he huddled in on himself. Red finally seemed to noticed him and turned to Sans, magic flaring. Sans struggled to make it to his feet, to try to run for it, but he only managed to find himself back in the snow.

A thought crossed his mind - If he was in the snow…does that mean he was close to home?

Sans stopped dead when he hears a low, rumbling noise. It sounded like laughter. Sans looked up to see Red laughing hysterically. Sans had no idea what he was laughing at, but his broken mind couldn’t help but laugh along. It had been awhile since he'd had something to laugh at. 

Red stopped and sneered at him.

“...still gonna kill ya.”

Sans made a tiny squeaking noise, instinctively pulling for his own magic, only to find himself too weak to call on it. Red was still approaching, a small smile on his face and magic at the ready. Sans had to think quick or he wasn’t going to make it out of this. He didn’t get this far to die now!

Barely thinking and desperate, Sans balled up the snow in front of him and chucked it at the other’s face. Red stopped dead in his tracks and looked at him with the most confused look, as if he had to register what had just happened. Sans takes the opportunity to hurl another snowball at him. The third time he was not as lucky, as Red had gathered himself by then and caught it mid-air. Sans didn’t bother with another attack, simply choosing to glare at the other Sans. He refused to die there.

Red threw his hands in the air and stormed off, leaving Sans all alone. Sans sat there dumbly for what felt like an eternity. Did... Did all of that really happen? He wondered if this was real, or just a dream, or some new fantasy that his mind had cooked up to keep him somewhat sane…

Dream or not, Sans was freezing, starving and tired. He would die out here if he was left alone.

So, reluctantly, he started to follow Red.

Red was definitely not pleased. Sans could tell that Red was screaming at him to leave him alone, making threats - but Sans was so tired…

Eventually, it all caught up to him, and Sans’ vision started to blur. It wasn’t until Red made a particularly grandiose sounding threat that the darkness creeping around Sans’ vision actually started to take him. Sans was vaguely aware of being lifted out of the snow… and then…

then...

 

 

"heh, what are you thinkin' about, bro?"

Sans looks up from his dazed state. It takes a moment for him to remember where he is, but as his vision clears he realizes he is sitting leaned against his brother. Sans is on the couch in the middle of the living room. _His_ living room.  His brother is sitting close by, letting Sans' head rest on his side. Sans smiles and leans in closer to his brother, and Papyrus responds by wrapping his arm around Sans' shoulders.  

Sans is at peace - warm and safe. It's over. He knows that. Sans knows he doesn't have to think about those bad things anymore but they still creep into his thoughts every now and then. Papyrus stays by him, though, grounding him - reassuring him that he is here and not back... wherever the hell he had been before.

Papyrus smiles warmly, understanding. "you don't have to tell me right now." He says, and Sans smiles back. Sans has yet to find his voice again, but when he does he makes a note to tell Papyrus that he is the best brother ever.  

Sans closes his eyes. It's late, and tomorrow Papyrus wanted to take Sans out to waterfall; Sans wants to be well rested for that. Sans falls back into an easy sleep, and dreams well.


	2. Trouble (Over and Over again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underfell Sans is adapting poorly to life in Underswap, and Papyrus is losing what little patience he has

“Papyrus, this is the second time  _in the last month_.  I can’t overlook it!”

Papyrus paces the room uncomfortably. He is so sick of dealing with this - it hasn’t been long since the mildly-unhinged version of his brother entered his dimension, but since then he’s been nothing but trouble. He was like a dog that had been raised in a house on a too-tight leash, and now that he has the freedom to do what he wants, he bites at as many people as possible.

In this case, literally.

“al, please, he’s just… getting used to being here.” Papyrus says.  Alphys sets her head on the desk and sighs.

“Papyrus, I  _live_  in Hotland. I don’t know what you think about my home, but the people here don’t go around assaulting everyone who looks at them the wrong way.” Alphys says, exasperated,  “You can’t tell me that Serif’s behavior is because of culture shock.”

Papyrus sighs, wanting to slam his head into a wall.  Of course, if Sans really was from Hotland, as he had told Alphys, his behavior probably  _would_  seem odd, but he’s not. He is actually from an alternate universe where everyone is constantly trying to kill each other, but even if he could get Alphys to  _believe_  him, she would still have to report to the queen.  And if the rest of the underground found out about him it would mean utter chaos. Timelines are a scary thing - hell, even  _Papyrus_  regrets ever learning about them. If people find out about them - not to mention the time skips that he still has yet to locate the source of…

“alphys,” Papyrus says, getting closer to her, “please, as a  _friend_ -”

“I let him off last time,  _as a friend,_  and look what happened!” She shouts.  “He’s going to end up killing someone, Papyrus!” Papyrus flinches back and Alphys calms. Composing herself on the chair, she folds her arms.  “Fortunately, Ms. Hopps isn’t pressing charges.”  Papyrus lets out a sigh of relief, but Alphys raises a hand. “ _but_  as this is the  _fourth time_  Serif’s been in my jail, I  _will_ be sending a report to the queen.”

Papyrus rests his head in his hand.  “....fine.”  Alphys seems to have made up her mind and Papyrus knows that there is no changing it.  Besides, it’s not like she’s unreasonable.  After all, if the case were any different Papyrus would be totally fine with letting this Sans’ ass rot in jail.

Alphys nods and exits the room.  She returns only minutes later with a grumpy looking Sans, hands held together in cuffs.  Papyrus glares at the source of all this trouble and the skeleton ducks his head.  Alphys gives him a small push to get him through the door.

“yeah, i get it, i’m moving.” he snaps, then mutters, “stupid bitch.”

“ _What was that_?” Alphys yells, turning to face her charge.  Sans has ducked down, but somehow still manages to look at her defiantly.  “‘ _Cause I think I just heard you ask me to throw your ass back in that cell_.”

“heh, whatever.”

Alphys huffs, annoyed, but ultimately pushes a few papers over to Papyrus and undoes Sans’ handcuffs. “Next time you make it back in here, you’re not getting without one hell of a bail.”

Sans begins to make a comment, but Papyrus cuts him off by slamming the signed papers down by Alphys.

“we good?”  Papyrus asks quickly, before Sans can get himself in any more trouble.

Alphys nods.

They stand there for a moment; Papyrus can tell there is something that Alphys wants to talk to him about - _privately_.  Papyrus debates his next move.  If he stays for a chat, she’s going to ask a lot of uncomfortable questions, and Papyrus either won’t want to or won’t be able to answer, just like the last time this Sans managed to get himself arrested.  However, if Papyrus just leaves he’ll get a phone call later that night and have to have this discussion over the phone, possibly where his Sans can hear it - and he  _knows_  how his poor brother feels about shouting.  Papyrus pinches the bridge of his nose bone and sighs.

“b-boss?” He hears Sans ask in a hushed, timid tone.

“ _just_... just go home, sa- serif.” Papyrus says.  “i’ll be right behind you.”  Sans nods quickly and, with one final mocking smile shot at Alphys, leaves the room.  Papyrus knows he’s already home.

Alphys scoffs.  “You trust him to walk there alone?”

Papyrus shrugs, “he ain’t got nowhere else to go - he’ll be home when i get there.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Papyrus.” Alphys says, crossing her arms.  “If it were me, I’d have kicked his ass out a long time ago.”

Papyrus sighs.  He would love to take the little asshole and dump him on the side of the road somewhere, but there are a lot of issues with that.  For one, Papyrus wasn’t lying about him having nowhere to go.  It wasn’t that he felt sorry for him, far from it, but that guy could get himself into a lot of trouble without Papyrus constantly breathing down his back, even though lately even that doesn’t seem like enough.

And then there is the fact that his own brother won’t go anywhere without his doppelganger.  It was actually very heartbreaking the first time Papyrus noticed that his brother was seeking out the company of the other Sans rather than his own. The guy had practically held him hostage for a year and his Sans refused to leave the room without him.  Then again, Papyrus had been told everything that Sans has been through since he’s been gone, and it only makes sense that Sans would make friends with the only semi-friendly person within a fifty mile radius.  Papyrus still has to fight the feelings of betrayal when Sans chooses the other over him though.

Alphys’ sigh breaks the silence.

“Papyrus, listen.” She says softly, “I don’t know  _what_  you are basing your decision to trust this guy on, but...are you  _sure_  you can?”  There is a beat of silence before she continues. “Are you sure he isn’t the one who… did those things to Sans?”

Papyrus flares at that.

“you think i’d be letting him  _live with us_  if i thought that!?” He shouts, and Alphys backs up, offended.

“I don’t know  _what_  you are thinking, Papyrus!” She yells back “and I am  _not_  about to be yelled at in  _my office_.”

Papyrus’ anger dies down.  She’s right.  To her, it must look as if Papyrus had lost his mind.  She had made her thoughts on letting the Sans from another universe stay with him very well known since day one, and with what information she has, Papyrus can’t blame her one bit for thinking that.  Hell, reverse the situation and he’d be calling  _her_  crazy. 

 “...heh, sorry, al.”

“It’s fine.” Alphys says, sitting down.  There is a beat of silence before she speaks again.  “I am serious about keeping him out of trouble though.  If I have to arrest him even one more time, it’s not going to be pretty.”

“i know.” Papyrus says,  “i’ll keep an eye socket out for him.”

Alphys smirks, and Papyrus turns to leave.

“Hold up.” Alphys says quickly.  Papyrus stops and looks at her.  “I…was wondering… if, maybe…later, I could come over and-”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Papyrus says quickly.  Alphys nods understandingly.  She hasn’t been over to the house since Sans returned, except for once… after that experience they had agreed it would be best if she stayed away for a while.  Just until Sans can recover.

If he ever recovers, Papyrus thinks grimly.

With that, Papyrus teleports himself out of the room and back to the house.  He walks through the front door to find both his brother and the other Sans sitting peacefully in the living room.  Napstablook is on the T.V. and red Sans is sitting on the couch while his Sans is working his way through a puzzle.  It wasn’t too long after Sans returned home that he started doing puzzles again.  It was an overwhelming relief, as for the first few days after the reunion Sans had simply sat in his room and stared at the ceiling.  It had terrified Papyrus at first, but the other Sans told him to give his brother time, and so far, it had been sound advice.  His brother certainly isn’t the same, but he  _is_  getting better; Papyrus can still see he’s the same inside, even if he’s a little...scrambled right now.

That advice had actually been when Papyrus had decided to keep his brother’s counterpart around.  At first he to keep a close eye on him - he could tell from the moment he realized who he was that he was no good. Even after living with him for so long Papyrus still doesn't like the guy, much less trust him, but his Sans is so relaxed around him.  Nowadays Sans doesn’t like to be around anyone, constantly tense and afraid - even when he’s around Papyrus he can sometimes be extremely wary, and if he’s in one of his moods again, he won’t let anyone around him  _but_  the other Sans.

It’s frustrating.   _Infuriating_. 

Papyrus sighs.

“hey, sans.” he says, trying to keep calm.  Two heads turn to face him and he grumbles.  “just you.” he points to the Sans on the couch.  “can i talk to you outside?”

Sans dips his head and shuffles out the door.  Papyrus is the only person he is ever submissive towards, and Papyrus couldn’t be more grateful for at least  _that_  little saving grace.  Papyrus follows and stands on front porch in front of Sans, his arms crossed.

“w-what’s up, boss?” Sans says, feigning (and failing) at being nonchalant.

“you know  _damn well_  ‘what’s up’, sans.” Papyrus snaps and Sans flinches.  “why the  _hell_  did you bite ms. hopps?”

“the dirty bitch put her hands on me, that’s why!” Sans snaps.

“ms. hopps is the nicest person in town!” Papyrus yells.  “she sure as hell didn’t do anything to warrant you _attacking_ her!”

“i didn’t attack her.” Sans grumbles, arms crossed.

“then what do you call it?” Papyrus glares.

“self-defense!” Sans shouts, arms opening in frustration.  He says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“self-defense from  _ms. hopps_?” Papyrus questions incredulously, “the woman calls me over to kill bugs - she couldn’t even try to hurt you.”

“and how was i supposed to know that!?”

Papyrus slams his head with both hands. This is pointless.  They’ve had this conversation before; when Sans kicked the mailman, when Sans assaulted the store clerk, when Sans  _blasted a Jerry_.  Each and every time he says that he just didn’t know that they weren’t a threat, and Papyrus doesn’t know how to make it any clearer to this asshole that no one here is out to get him.

“look,” Papyrus says, prying his hands away from his face,  “if you want to stay here, you have to follow our rules, and rule number one is be nice.”

“well, i’m not exactly here by choice.” Sans says, crossing his arms.

“that doesn’t matter!”  Papyrus yells, causing Sans to flinch.  He takes a deep, calming breath.  “i’m going to be honest with you - alphys has been pulling  _a lot_  of strings to keep you out of trouble, but that’s going to stop soon.  if you don’t get it together, she  _will_  to turn you over to the queen.”

Sans eyes widen, and he shakes his head vigorously.  “that can’t happen.”

“then don’t let it!” Papyrus yells again.  “it’s not that hard, just don’t go around beating people up!”

 

Sans takes a defensive stance.  “why do you even listen to her - i  _know_  you’re more powerful than she is.”

“she’s head of the royal guard, and my friend for that matter, that’s way.” Papyrus states.

“but you could easily beat her!” Sans responds,  “there is no reason for you to be beneath her.  why haven’t you fought her for her place yet?  why are you just sitting here waiting for someone to attack you!?”

“that is not - i’m not- are you-?” Papyrus sputters, searhing for words, but he is utterly at a loss as to how to respond to that.  Frustrated, Papyrus grunts, slamming a fist into the wall next to him, causing Sans to jump and squeak pitifully.

Papyrus feels really,  _really_  sorry for this guy.  He doesn’t know much about his universe, other than what Sans told him about what happened to his brother, but from that and Sans’ behavior he can reasonably piece together what it’s like.  Sans is constantly on edge, and though he would  _never_  admit it, he’s scared of Papyrus.  This Sans is a walking ball of hate and anxiety, and it’s causing a lot of problems now that he’s in a universe where random acts of violence is frowned upon.

It’s not his fault, and Papyrus knows this.  If he were in a universe like the one Sans is from, he could never bring himself to kill an innocent person just to survive.  He can’t expect this Sans to adapt to an entirely new situation in the span of a few short months - especially since they are both trying to get him back to his home anyways.

And that just makes this all the more frustrating!

Papyrus finally sighs and lowers his fist.  Sans seems to sag with relief, but is still on edge.  Papyrus waits for a moment, choosing his words very carefully.  “things don’t work like that here.” Papyrus says,  “it’s not a matter of who’s more powerful - it’s a matter of who’s in charge, and i have no desire to start a revolution. never have.”

There is a beat of silence.

“...aren’t you worried about someone attacking you?” Sans asks.  “i get that everyone here is sentimental and shit, but what if someone decides they’ve had enough of that and attacks.”

“that won’t happen.” Papyrus says, making an attempt at ending the conversation.  Before Sans can even try to respond, Papyrus walks back to the door.  “just...try. try to not attack anyone, okay?”

 

Sans grumbles a little, and Papyrus knows that’s the closest thing to a confirmation that he is going to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's what's happening in the present, but next chapter we go back to the past, this time from _Pap's_ point of view.
> 
> hehehe...
> 
> Next chapter is going to be fun...


	3. Dead and Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus' story from when Sans was gone

It took Papyrus a long time to accept it that Sans wasn’t coming back after he disappeared.

It all happened because he had gotten frustrated.  Sans was yelling at him and Papyrus had had enough of it.  Papyrus didn’t need a mother hen; he just wanted to enjoy his life and his alcohol in peace.  Sans was always doing this to him - forcing him to take jobs he hated and socialize with people he couldn’t care less about.  Papyrus just wanted to stay at home in his bed until he disappeared off the face of the Underground, and he didn’t understand why Sans had to keep pushing him up and around.

And honestly, Papyrus just couldn’t stand the way his older brother was able to just get up and be happy.  He was so damn cheery all the time and Papyrus could barely bring himself to smile at times.  The only times Papyrus felt anything even resembling happiness anymore was when he was drinking, but when he did that Sans would come home and berate him for “wasting his life”.

So when Sans came home that night and snatched the bottle out of his hand and started yelling, Papyrus was having none of it.

“oh, so i’m being pathetic.” Papyrus slurs, glaring at the furious little skeleton across the room, “i’m not the one running around in a fucking costume pretending to be part of the royal guard.”

He knew it was a horrible thing to say, even as he was saying it, and if he were sober he would punch himself right in the face, but at the moment, it just felt so satisfying to bring his brother down a notch - to make him hurt the way that he was hurting.

That satisfaction washed away the moment Papyrus saw Sans' face.  He had taken a step back, staring at Papyrus like he didn’t even recognize him.  Shock was soon replaced by hurt, replaced by anger and an attempt to keep from crying.  Papyrus’ smirk left his face, and he put his head in his hands.  Oh god, why had he said that.

“You know what?” Sans’ voice was choked, probably from holding back tears.  He slammed the bottle on the tabletop in front of his brother and stormed out of the house.  “You can just…just...argh!”

The door slammed and Papyrus grumbled.  Why was he such a fucking asshole?

“san - sans, wait!” Papyrus rushed to the door, but his brother had already disappeared into the snow. Papyrus closed the door and slumped down against it. 

Asshole!

Why did he say that?

Papyrus put his head in both his hands and groaned.  He hadn’t meant that, not at all - his brother was the coolest.  He had taken care of Papyrus for all those years and he never gave up.  Despite every obstacle that life threw at him, Sans never gave up on his goals.  That costume was Papyrus' idea, to make his brother feel closer to his dream.  Hell, he’d made the damn thing for him.  Sans was trying his best, and what the fuck was he doing with his own life?  Papyrus was a loser who, if it wasn’t for the grace of his older brother, would probably be rotting in a dump somewhere.

Papyrus finally dragged himself back to the couch.  He owed his brother the biggest apology when he got back.  He closed his eyes and instantly drifted off, only waking up in the morning because the artificial daylight through the window forced him to.

He felt like shit.

His head hurt, his body ached, and when he remembered everything that had happened the night before, he once again felt like the Underground’s worst brother.

“sans?” Papyrus called through the headache.  “you home yet, bro?”

No response.

Papyrus shrugged - Sans would often stay with Alphys and rant when things like this happened.  They probably got so caught up in bashing him that they lost track of time and he had had to stay the night.  That was fine.  Papyrus knew he deserved it.

Besides, it was nice to be alone and feel like garbage - makes sense why Mettaton does it all the time.

It was a little past noon when Papyrus' self-loathing was disturbed by the ringing of a phone.  It was Alphys. Papyrus debated answering it for a full thirty seconds before letting it go to voice mail.  He didn’t feel like getting yelled at by his bro’s best friend over shit he already felt bad about.

The phone rang four more times - Papyrus was beginning to wonder what his brother told her to get her this riled up.

Finally, about an hour after the last call, there was a knock at the door.

Papyrus ignored it.

“Sans!?  Are you in there?”

Papyrus looked up at the door, confused.  It was Alphys’ voice, no doubt, but why would she be looking for Sans - wouldn’t he be with her?

Papyrus pulled himself off the couch and dragged himself over to the door.  He slid open the door to find a relieved looking Alphys - though the moment she saw who opened the door, her face fell.

“Oh, it’s just you.” She said bitterly.

“heh, yeah, just me.” Papyrus said, headache still pounding his nonexistent brain out.

“Can you tell me where you brother is?” She asked impatiently.  “I’ve tried his phone but he won’t pick up.”

That...was unusual… since when had Sans not answered the phone?  He was normally on top of that kind of thing. 

Papyrus stood up a little straighter, “i thought he was with you…”

Alphys hummed and Papyrus felt a little worry crawl into his chest.  His brother was emotional last night, but he wouldn’t have done anything stupid or reckless, right?  Sans knew his limit - he wouldn’t go anywhere dangerous or too far away from the house.  No, he wouldn’t.  This must have been his way of getting back at his brother and making him worry.

It was working.

Alphys sighed, “I going to ask around and see if anyone’s seen him.”

“I’ll go with you.” Papyrus says, quickly grabbing his jacket off the couch.  Alphys didn’t exactly look thrilled, but she didn’t object.

The pair spent the rest of the day asking around Snowdin and bits of Waterfall  - trying to find anyone who had seen Papyrus’ older brother in the past twenty-four hours.  The closest they got was Ms. Hopps, who told them she had seen Sans run out of the house crying at around nine…but Papyrus already knew that. Alphys was very unhappy, but she kept most of her comments to herself.  Most of them, anyways.

When it got too late to continue Alphys walked Papyrus back home, promising to report Sans as missing as soon as it was legally possible.  Papyrus thanked her for her help, unlocked the door, went inside, and collapsed.

If this was a prank it wasn’t funny in the least.  Papyrus felt awful and all he wanted at that moment was to know that his brother was okay.  He wanted to apologize.

He spent the entire night curled up on the floor, staring at nothing.  Papyrus could not live without his brother, and if something had happened to him it would be entirely his fault. The logical part of his brain told him to calm down, that Sans had been gone overnight before and Papyrus had never gotten worried about that, but this time it felt different. Papyrus felt like he had messed up, and this time there was going to be no fixing it. 

The next morning, the dog squad was sent to search the forest.  The town had also banded together to search for Sans.  Muffet accompanied Papyrus throughout the search, constantly comforting him and assuring him that Sans would be alright.

The search lasted several days.  By the end of it, the monsters had stopped looking for Sans and had started looking for dust, clothes, signs of a struggle.  At the end of the week everyone in town had accepted that Sans had died in some remote area of the Underground - probably frozen or slipped off the side of a ravine.  There was even a small funeral held at Muffet’s.

Papyrus was the only one who hadn’t attended **.**

Papyrus holed himself up in his house.  He didn’t do much.  He had a whole lot of alcohol stashed away, after all, and there was no use in letting that go to waste.  The T.V was constantly on, but Papyrus wasn’t sure what he was watching half the time.  He could barely remember to feed himself, or get out of bed, or do much of anything. 

Papyrus drank himself numb, unwilling to face the emotions that were trying to wriggle their way into the front consciousness of his mind.

Guilt was at the forefront of them all, than there was self-hatred, followed by rage, followed finally by grief. Papyrus had never felt like this before.  When their father had died, Papyrus had been really little.  Sans was almost fifteen, and he was the one who had shouldered much of the financial and emotional burden, despite his age.  He quit school and took up several odd jobs to support the pair.  Papyrus, being just shy of seven, was always causing trouble and constantly had to be taken out of class.  Sans would take him home without complaint, and he would listen to his little brother cry and scream and rant with a smile on his face. Sans would always tell him that things would get better, and that they just had to keep a positive look on life. 

Papyrus later asked his brother how he had been able to handle all of the pressure dumped on him.

“Because I had responsibilities.” Sans had replied.

“but weren’t you sad, or scared?”

“Of course I was, but the Magnificent Sans doesn’t give up when things are hard!  That is what makes me so cool! Mwehehe!”

Sans had even encouraged Papyrus to go for his Physics degree (even if Papyrus had only stayed a year before dropping out) while Sans himself was working two shifts at the Core.  Sans never held any of Papyrus’ behavior against him, even if he was disappointed, even if he was mad - Sans never ever lashed out at Papyrus like he did at Sans.

And damn, Papyrus doesn’t know how his brother had did it.  Everything in the world seemed to turn against the skeletons, and through it all Sans was a constant source of optimism.  Sans had been really close to their father, while Papyrus barely knew him, and his death had to hurt Sans as much as Sans’ hurt Papyrus…but where Sans was able to pull himself up and keep going, Papyrus had just given in.  He couldn’t….he couldn’t handle this! 

His brother really was the coolest, if this is what he was feeling when their father died.  Papyrus couldn’t even pull himself out of bed - he didn’t even have the energy to bother contemplating suicide.  He was just content to die of alcohol poisoning.  They wouldn’t find his dust for months.

So Papyrus lay there, barely aware on the couch, waiting for anything to happen.

Unfortunately, the first real change was that the liquor in his house dried up after barely a month, but Papyrus hadn’t had the energy to buy more - besides, Muffet would probably be worried about him and want to have a chat.  Even when sober Papyrus couldn’t feel his emotions, making him wonder if he ever even had them to begin with.

Papyrus didn't really know or care how many days had passed since he had last left the house.  People stopped knocking when they realized that he never answered.  Papyrus wouldn't have been surprised if they all thought him dead by now. 

So it was a very big shock when Papyrus woke up to a monster hovering over him on the couch.

“Wow, you look like shit.”

Papyrus turned his head to find Alphys standing over him.  How…he hadn’t even heard her come in…and wasn’t the door locked?  A quick glance over at the door, now hanging from its hinges, answered that.  How the hell hadn’t he heard that?  If he cared enough later, maybe he'd shut it when Alphys left.  Or maybe not. Maybe the cold would make him sick and then he’ll die.

He turned back to Alphys, whose eyes were wandering over him, assessing him. She shook her head.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Get the fuck out of my house?” Papyrus tried, attempting to look like he found some humor in his words. He failed.

Alphys sighed and looked around.  The house was a mess.  Papyrus had had a small fit when the town held the funeral, and even though had been months ago, he still hadn’t clean up.  Any pictures that he had of Sans had been broken or turned over, and the place was covered in trash and bottles.  It was dark in the room because the shades were drawn over the only window, and when Alphys tried to flip on the lights she found they didn’t work.

Alphys shook her head again and turned back to the skeleton. “You’re really a mess, huh?”

“bite me, lizard.” Papyrus said halfheartedly.

“Look,” Alphys said, anger seeping into her words before she quickly composed herself. “I came by because Undyne said you probably weren’t doing well - I was going to just leave you here to deal with your own shit, but…” Alphys takes another look around and sighs.  “But Sans wouldn’t want this…”

“sans wouldn’t want to be dead,” Papyrus mumbled, and Alphys looked livid, the little patience she had flickering like a candle about to go out.  Somehow, though, she found her resolve, looking back at the broken photos and sighing.

“Papyrus…” Papyrus only glared, and Alphys sighed.  “I can’t force you to do anything, but…Undyne and I are having an anime marathon tonight - we’d like it if you came over.”

“sure.” Papyrus said, no intention of actually leaving the house.  Alphys seemed to notice, because in the next moment her fist had slammed against the table.

“Listen here, you big jerk!” She yelled.  “I don’t care that you’re upset, I don’t care that you’re slowly killing yourself. You could rot in hell for all I care!” Papyrus didn’t even flinch, staring her in the eye darkly.  “But… Sans would be really disappointed in me if I just stood by and let you do this to yourself.  Clean yourself up and be over by eight, that’s an order.”

“..........whatever.”

Alphys sighed, knowing there was nothing more that she could do, and left, leaning the broken door back into place.  Papyrus sagged back down on the couch.  Why the hell did she even bother coming over - it was his fault that Sans was gone.  Papyrus rolled over and groaned.  He wasn’t going to that stupid lizard’s house.  He hadn’t left his wn house in over a month - why should he go where he obviously isn’t wanted just because his brother’s friend wanted to clear her conscious? If Papyrus was going to die with his sins crawling down his back, why shouldn’t she?

Papyrus glanced over at the wall.  He remembered the first day Sans had said that he was going to join the guard.  Papyrus was instantly supportive - his brother could do anything in the world, he’d practically raised Papyrus, after all.  He watched his brother spend every moment he had free training, Papyrus even being convinced to take up a couple small odd jobs to help cover.  Sans waited outside Alphys’ house all night trying to get her to train him, and of course she was taken in by his brother’s charm.  Alphys and Papyrus didn’t exactly get along, but they shared a common bond with Sans, and that was enough to make them tolerate each other’s presence.

He remembered working on Sans’ “battle body”, and the look of pure delight on his brother’s face when Papyrus gave it to him. 

Papyrus’ chest ached at how empty the memories felt now.  It was like looking through faded glass - the colors and emotions of the memories distorted and warped, whitewashing them into vague recollections of sight and sound.

Somehow, despite the depression weighing his limbs, Papyrus felt himself leaving the couch and venturing up the stairs.  His body carried him through a door with many decorations and signs - a room he didn’t think he would ever have the strength to enter again.

Because even the pain of standing in his brother’s room was better than the awful numbness that the memories held.

Papyrus looked carefully at every artifact, every testament to his brother’s existence and personality.  He held his fingers just above the action figures that he had collected, careful not to disturb a single one. Memories of helping his brother plan traps and battles with the dolls surfaced, and with the objects so close Papyrus could almost feel the joy and peace he’d felt back then.

Almost. 

Other memories clawed their way to the surface of his mind.  Yelling, screaming - fights over nothing in particular.  Sans' constantly badgering and Papyrus' constantly pushing away.  Sans being heartbroken when Papyrus stood him up for a day out to go drinking.  That one ended in a spectacular fight that woke up almost half the town.  During fights like those Papyrus would almost always either teleport to Muffets’ or out into the woods.  He hated confrontation, especially with his brother, because, nine out of ten times, Sans was right.

Papyrus shook his head.  This was too much.  He didn’t want to deal with these emotions right now - or ever, for that matter.  He clamped his hands over his eye sockets, pressing the balls of his palm into them.  A headache was beginning to form in the back of his skull and he turned around to head back to the couch.

As he was walking through the door, he saw something hanging on the knob.  Papyrus’ hand slowly reached out and wrapped around his brother’s beloved bandana.  It was made of a thick material and was well-worn, but loved.  Papyrus felt a rush pound through him, and to help keep it down he quickly tied the small thing to his neck. 

Sans loved this bandana because it made him feel cool.  It made him feel like he was a superhero - important.  Sans had had it for longer than Papyrus could remember, probably since before he was born.  If there had been dust left from his brother Papyrus probably would have had it sprinkled onto the cloth. 

Papyrus took a deep breath as he burrowed his face into the bandana.  It was a very...calming sensation. There weren't any particular memories attached to this item, but it still held a sense of connection with his brother.  With it, Papyrus felt like his brother was close.

It was at that moment that Papyrus made up his mind.  He wasn’t going to go back to sleep.  He was tired, but not in any way that sleep could cure.  No, he was tired of being tired.  He was tired of feeling so sorry all the time.  He was tired of grieving.

He was tired of being numb.

 

 

\--

 

 

“O-oh, it's y-you.  I d-didn’t think you w-w-would…”

“heh, yeah, i made it,” Papyrus shoved his hands in his pocket.  Undyne stood by the door, sounds of swords clashing and yelling coming from just inside.  Undyne’s ruby hair was slightly ruffled and her blue cheeks slightly flushed.  She slowly adjusted her tank top strap and huddled in on herself.  Papyrus felt more awkward than he would dare show, but he stayed standing in the doorway, shifted from foot to foot. “if i’m interrupting something…”

“o-oh no, no,” Undyne said, “it’s j-just… um… c-come in.”

Undyne stepped aside and Papyrus slowly walked through her home/lab.  Originally, the royal lab had been in Hotland, but because of Undyne's more aquatic nature it had been relocated to her tiny house in Waterfall, though most of it was in a back room that she didn't allow anyone access to.

Alphys sat in front of a small monitor that was flashing vibrant colors.  Papyrus had to resist the urge to squint.

“You're late.” Alphys deadpanned

“sorry, i took a nap.  i was just _bone_ -tired”

“I don't think you're even trying anymore,” Alphys huffed as Undyne took her place next to her.  Papyrus sat on the floor as the noise of the television rattled around in his skull.  Despite the ear-splittingly high pitched voices, there was an eerie silence that ran through the house that made Papyrus want to curl up back home.  Several times he actually contemplated teleporting away, but that would have been so rude and he knows just what his brother would have to say about that if he knew.

_‘You left in the middle of a hang out?!  Papyrus, I cannot believe you could be so selfish.’_

Papyrus’ soul ached as his brother’s voice played in his head.  His hand reached up to the bandana and he pressed it to his cheek.  He turned his head back for just a moment. Alphys was sitting calmly, eyes drooping and head settled on her girlfriend’s head.  Papyrus felt a flare of hatred and disgust.  Sans had been her close friend - she had been Sans’ only friend, and she didn't even seem to miss him!  But Papyrus swallowed these feelings down. It wasn't fair for him to expect her to grieve like him.  He knew that she had been heartbroken when Sans never returned, but she had many friends and Undyne to help her through it. Papyrus had nobody because he spent his life pushing everyone away.

Papyrus looked forward at the anime again.  After a few more minutes he could hear soft snoring.  Alphys must have fallen asleep.  Papyrus readjusted himself.  He would leave soon, since there really wasn't a point him staying any longer.  This was a waste of time anyway. Maybe on the way back he would stop somewhere and get some cheap bear.

“Papyrus?”

He jerked and turned to face his ex-college partner, who was sliding down from the couch to sit beside him. Papyrus sighed and put on a smile.

“‘sup?”

Undyne looked at him sadly, as if about to say something, then tucked her legs into her chest and stared forward.  They sat like this for a while.  As far as Papyrus knew, Undyne had never really known Sans that well - outside of the Internet, of course - but for some reason she was acting extremely mournful.  It was nice, in a strange way.  Papyrus had been so alone in his grief for so long, it was nice to feel like there was someone who could share his pain for a moment.  Finally, Undyne opened her mouth again.

“D-do you want to talk about it?”

“no.” Papyrus said quietly. 

“Are you sure?”

“yes.”

“B-because talking might-”

“d r o p i t.”

Undyne yelped and jerked back.  Papyrus instantly felt guilty, but just couldn't find the strength to apologize. Instead, they went back to their uncomfortable silence.  The sound of anime, muted by the sound of nothing, filled the room.  Undyne’s curled form sat uneasily against the couch.  Apparently she wasn't done, because she began to talk again.

“I know you’re hurting right now,” she spoke softly.  “B-but you’re scaring me.  You’re scaring everyone.”

Papyrus shook his head.  “don't worry about me, i'll be fine.”

“You’re not fine, Papyrus!  Look at yourself.”  Undyne flicked off the monitor and Papyrus was faced with a quite frightening image reflecting on the black surface.

Papyrus flinched at the sight of his appearance.  No wonder Undyne was so shocked to see him when she opened the door.  He looked downright terrifying.  His eyes drifted away and met with the floor.

“Papyrus please-” Undyne started.

“what do you want from me?” Papyrus asked, exhausted.  He felt the urge to leave rise up again, but he knew that Undyne would just follow him.  She could be very determined when she wanted to be.  So instead Papyrus just hung his head and sighed.  “can't you just let me go home?”

“Papyrus…”

“you don't have to worry about me, ‘dyne, i’m…i’m an adult.”

“Papyrus, please,” she said lightly, hand lightly resting on his shoulder.  She had turned to face him and there was no avoiding her piercing gaze. “you can't do this to yourself.  Sans would b-be…be…” She trailed off at Papyrus’ darkening gaze.  She huffed out a sigh and let go of him.  “Sans thought the world of you, Papyrus.”

“i can't possibly imagine why.” Papyrus muttered.

Undyne made a small noise that took Papyrus a moment to register as a laugh. “R-really?  Papyrus, he never shut up about you!  He thought you were brilliant, a-and sweet and - and just a good person.” There is a beat of silence. “I do too.”

Papyrus hung his head.  “sans left because we got into a fight.”

“I heard.” Undyne admitted.

“it's my fault.” Papyrus almost choked on the words.

“Papyrus, that's not-”

“and you know what's worse?” Papyrus interrupted.  “it wasn't the first one.  he was always looking after me - making sure that i didn't end up accidentally killing myself doing something stupid, constantly dealing with my moods and my drinking, and i always gave him grief about it.  he practically raised me and i treated him like...like…” Papyrus hadn't realized he was crying until his voice broke and he could no longer form words. Undyne wrapped her arms around him and he stiffened, but continued, “when i quit the science program, everyone told me i was wasted potential.  sans was the only one who understood, despite everything we'd been through to get me there.  he didn't do anything to deserve me.  he put up with so much of my shit, ‘dyne.”

Undyne was silent for a long time, letting Papyrus just sit there with churning emotions.  When he had calmed down, she gave him a light smile, “I-I think you're being too hard on y-yourself.”

Papyrus was going to object, but Undyne cut him off. 

“Sans had a lot of p-pride in you, as well as some frustration, but who doesn't!  He was your b-brother, Papyrus - of course he put up with you, of c-course he got annoyed sometimes, that's just what f-family is.” Her smile fell, and she spoke a little quieter. “And I know t-that wherever he is…he doesn't blame you.”

Papyrus wanted to object, but deep inside, past all the self-loathing and doubt, he knew she was right.  He knew that his brother would be unhappy with him right now.  He could hear his brother in the back of his mind, desperately calling out to him to get out of bed.  The ghost of a memory was from a very long time ago, back when his depression had been almost as bad.  Papyrus hadn't moved for several days, and Sans was becoming fearful of him falling.  It was one of the only times he could remember his older brother crying.  His brother’s worrying was the only thing that had made him recover.  Sans had lost so much, Papyrus wasn't about to give up and leave him all alone.  Sans did everything in his power to help his brother recover, cheering him on at every little accomplishment. He knew that if Sans could see him now it would be the same.

The tears flowed again, but this time Papyrus did nothing to stop them.  He leaned forward and let himself sob.  Undyne's hand came to rest on his back.  She didn't say a word as Papyrus let out the emotions he'd been keeping pressed down.

 

 

\---

 

 

Papyrus had to build his life from the ground up.  Alphys and Undyne were the only ones helping him at first, Papyrus being too embarrassed by how far he’s fallen to enlist help from anyone else.  The three of them cleaned up the house over the course of a few days, occasionally taking breaks so that Undyne could drag Papyrus to Muffet's. 

In all honesty, Papyrus was actually glad with how the trip to Muffet's went.  Everyone was polite and welcoming - even stingy Muffet gave Papyrus a free bottle of honey when he walked through the doors. Sans was mentioned once or twice, mostly with condolences or mournful smiles, and even though Papyrus’ heart still twisted every time, he took every comment lightly.

After a few days of cleaning up, Papyrus talked with Alphys about a small sentry job.  She was very hesitant at first to give the position to him - his lazy reputation preceded him, after all - but after a quick demonstration of power she was convinced.

“Damn, Papyrus,” she said after witnessing one of his Gaster Blasters demolish a boulder.  “And here I thought Sans was the only one with hidden potential.”

Time went on.  Papyrus took up a few more jobs to keep busy - his favorite being a concessions stand at Napstablook’s night club. He often hung out with Alphys and Undyne, and later with some of the Dog Squad.  He found that making friends came much easier now that he actually went places and did things.  He found himself becoming more and more content with each day, until finally he began to feel ghosts of happiness wrap around his soul.

Papyrus still missed Sans more than anything.  He would occasionally wake up and forget his brother was gone.  It was on one of those nights that Papyrus made a new friend.  He had gone out for a walk and found a large door in the middle of the woods.  Seeing his opportunity, he began to practice jokes to the door.  If anyone had seen him they'd have thought he'd gone mad, but it only became strange to him when the door started joking back.  Apparently a man lived behind the door, and he had the same sense of humor Papyrus did.  He spent the night there, just chatting and joking with him, until finally it was time to go to work.  After that he went there often to chat with his friend, and he had begun to guess the identity of the man, though he never brought it up.  There was an unspoken rule to never bring up anything personal between them.  It was nice to talk to someone who didn't feel sorry for him, and he was sure that Asgore felt the same.

It was one day well over a year later that Papyrus woke up and realized that it didn't hurt anymore.  Sans was gone, and for once he neither felt sad nor guilty - and he didn't even feel sorry about it.  He certainly wasn't glad in his brother’s death - but he found this sort of peaceful acceptance of reality. 

Papyrus got dressed, still wearing the small blue bandana.  He never went anywhere without it, after all. Walking down the hallways, Papyrus paused halfway to the stairs and turned.   He placed a hand on his brother's bedroom door.  Since Sans never had a proper resting place, he had turned this room into an unofficial grave, leaving everything exactly as it had been left by its owner.  Occasionally, he would stand outside it and talk as if his brother was listening.  Sometimes Papyrus wondered if he was.

“hey… sans.  i just wanted to say…thanks. for everything.  i miss you bro.”

Papyrus pulled away from the door and turned, not wanting to ruin the moment by crying.  He grabbed a cereal bar on the way out and took a quick shortcut to his station.  He sat there for hours, mostly napping and chatting with Doggo.  Papyrus kept an eye out of anything strange, but he didn’t worry about anything coming through, nothing had in almost ten years.  At the end of his shift Papyrus was talked into a game of checkers with the dogs at Muffet’s. 

They walked in a group back towards Snowdin, Papyrus cracking jokes and getting a laugh here and a groan there.  As they were walking through the forest, the group was stopped by a shriek that echoed through the woods, followed by a ground shaking crash.

The world tilted on its head for a moment for Papyrus, and for a brief moment he wondered if he had accidentally short-cutted without realizing it.  When his vision returned, everything was the same, but Papyrus had a bad feeling in his bones.

“What was that?” Doggo cried, looking around frantically for anything moving.

“An earthquake?”

(“I don’t know”) 

“Maybe we should check it out.”

Papyrus frowned. That wasn’t an earthquake.  That was a textbook cosmic collapse.  He hadn't studied physics formally for a long time, but he been working on a project in the basement for several years before stopping due to apathy.  He hadn't even set foot in the basement since his brother's disappearance, but he still remembered the feeling of the timelines shifting.

That was how he knew the timeline itself had been altered drastically.  From the way the world still felt like it was spinning, Papyrus guessed that they weren’t too far away from the epicenter, either.

Feeling the most qualified to handle whatever they may find, Papyrus spoke up, “i’ll go check it out, you guys have fun.”

Papyrus started walking back when Doggo grabbed his arm, “I’ll go with you.  It sounds like there was someone in trouble.”

Papyrus shrugged, but didn’t object.  They walked in the direction of the scream and crash, wandering for quite some time with no results.  Doggo was getting cold and anxious, shaking and jumping at every movement and sound.

“Do you think we’re going in the right direction?”  Doggo asked quietly.

“it definitely came from over here.” Papyrus said.

“Maybe it was nothing… but there was that scream.” Doggo was debating with himself.  He was clearly frazzled and Papyrus didn't blame him. Feeling sorry for the half blind pooch, Papyrus clapped him on the back. 

“i got this.” he smiled.  “you go home. i’ll check it out.”

“You sure?” Doggo asked.  With a large, noticeable nod from Papyrus, Doggo dashed off into the trees, back towards the path.  Papyrus smiled and began to walk forward.  It wasn’t two steps later that he heard scrambling to his left, and he quickly turned to find someone stumbling around in the snow.  Papyrus sighed.  Teenagers; it wasn’t uncommon for them to come out and do stupid things in the middle of the woods, but at the very least Papyrus had hoped they would come in groups.  Sighing, he took a step forward.

“hey, buddy.” Papyrus started, and the monster froze, as if too frightened to move their limbs.  Papyrus ignored that and continued.  “it ain’t smart to be wandering around the forest in the middle of-”

The monster turned-

-and Papyrus’ whole world stopped.

 

 

 

There had been moments throughout everything that had happened to Papyrus in which he had hoped beyond anything else that his brother was still alive. Intellectually, he knew that the odds were slim to none that he would ever see him again, but the fact that there was no dust to prove his death had given Papyrus just enough doubt to make him stay up at night wondering.  If his brother was in fact alive, where was he? Was he okay?  Was he safe?  Was he happy? 

As he began to let go of the doubt surrounding his brother’s death, he came to accept that his brother was, at the very least, at peace.  He was not in pain, he was not alone.  He was dead - plain and simple.  As hard as it was for Papyrus to accept this, he found some contentment that his brother was not suffering.

This was how he had come to terms with his loss. 

That was how he moved on with his life.  He let his brother go - not forgetting but not letting him consume his thoughts. You can't help the dead, after all, so there was no point in staying in that state of constant loss. Papyrus moved forward and began to live for himself again, growing into a better person than he had been before.

But in that moment everything he had built, all of the progress he had made - it was suddenly all meaningless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“sans?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, that took forever.  
> I hope that this chapter's worth the wait. Tell me what you think in the comments.


	4. Ruins door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus has a talk with a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys. Things have been super hectic with me plus I've started some new projects that deserve more of my time than I'm currently giving them, so it may be a while between updates.
> 
> Also, I had my Beta look this chapter over, but I didn't reread it myself like I normally do, so I feel like this was kind of a lazy chapter, but I wanted to get something out since it has pretty much been sitting on my desktop for a couple days now.

Sans is enjoying yet another quiet day in this weird house in this weird universe. Back in Underfell, it had been so hard to get a day away from the general animosity and danger. He couldn’t exactly take a vacation, since almost anywhere he went meant that there would be a monster there watching - waiting for a chance to dust him and take his EXP.

But this world is different. Monsters enjoy each other’s company, make conversation with each other on the streets, go to each other’s houses simply to chat or to borrow an item with no consequence. It baffled Sans at first, and honestly, he’s still trying to understand it. It is hard for him to shut off a lifelong distrust in his fellow monsterkind. This world’s Papyrus has made no effort to hide his distaste for Sans’ behavior and general personality; it’s a wonder he hasn’t kick Sans out a long time ago.

Although, Sans does has a good feeling as to what - or rather  _ who _ \- is his saving grace here.

Sans hears a crash from the kitchen and puts down the book he had been reading. He shoves his hands into his pockets and sticks his head into the little room off to the side. It seems that Blue had dropped a bowl of something on the floor. He removes his reading glasses to get a better look and finds that there are small round things all over the floor. His duplicate is quickly picking them up, trying not to let them roll too far off.

Sans  _ could _ go in and help, but he was just getting into a good part in his book, and he really wasn’t feeling up to crawling around on the floor looking for olives.

“blue? you good?”

The skeleton jumps at the other’s voice, but recovers quickly and nods. Sans gives him a quick smile and turns to return to the living room, only to be stopped by a large orange hoodie.

“gahh!” Sans jumps back and stumbles further into the kitchen.

“heh, what’s up, bros?” Papyrus is standing there nonchalantly, but Sans can see a small hint of anger in the sockets. Sans ducks down and starts back into the kitchen.

“n-nothin’ boss, blue just dropped somethin’” He says quickly, getting down to pick up the little black fruits. Papyrus glares at him and he can feel himself breaking into a sweat. Intellectually, Sans knows that this Papyrus wasn’t a threat, but the look in his eyes is just  _ so _ similar to his own brother’s that he can’t help the deep seated need to run away from it.

“i’ve asked you before not to do that,” Papyrus says in a monotonous voice. He is walking over to the sink to grab a rag, but Sans doesn’t let his eyes leave the taller skeleton.

“n-not to do what?” Sans tries desperately to banish his stutter, but his nerves are working him.

Papyrus sighs as he reaches down to pick up the last of the olives and clean the spill.

“the nicknames.” Papyrus says, “it’s weird.”

“s-sorry,” Sans mutters, backing out of the room. He still doesn’t know what to make of the Papyrus of this universe. He is somewhat similar to his version of his brother, but in many respects he is completely different. Every time Sans thinks he’s figured this guy out, he switches up on him. He’ll be livid at Sans one moment then calm the next. It’s weird. When his Papyrus would get mad, he would stay mad for days on end.

Still, despite everything, this Papyrus has, overall, been… _ kind  _ to him. Even after Sans explained everything that had happened, even after all the times he’d messed up and Papyrus has had to clean it up, Papyrus never held it against Sans.

“ _ you’re just warming up to here, you’ll get used to it in time.” _

If only it was that simple. Sans just can’t wrap his head around the oddities of this strange universe. Monsters here seemed to have this inherent knowledge of how to get what they want out of each other.  Sans tried watching it for a while, seeing how occasionally someone would need something, so they would ask for it and get it - but when he tried it he got odd looks.  It’s as though they know he doesn’t belong.  People say and do things that seem out of place and weird to him, but the others play along, as if they can completely understand what is asked of them without it being asked. Sans is beginning to think there is some kind of secret code going on here that he is not privy too.

Sans returns to the couch and picks up the book, though the moment is gone and now he can’t stop shaking and feeling on edge.  He hates when he gets this way - so did Boss, actually, and on more than one occasion he had gotten thrown out of the house of it.  

Sans flinches when the couch sinks and he notices that Papyrus has decided to sit next to him.  Sans burrows his face into the book and prays that Papyrus doesn’t try to strike up a conversation. Fortunately for him, Papyrus just flicks on the television and leans back.  Sans can’t concentrate on the book with the noise in the background, but he keeps pretending so that the taller skeleton doesn’t feel the need to talk to him.

Blue eventually enters the room as well, and Papyrus scoots over to let him up.  The couch is certainly not meant for three, as now Papyrus is pressed uncomfortably into Sans’ side.  Sans moves to get up but is stopped by Papyrus’ voice.

“you don’t have to get up.” he says quickly. Sans freezes. This is exactly the kind of thing he feels might be a code for something else. No one in Underfell would say something so ambiguous. They would either demand he stay or tell him to scram.  There would be no nuance or choice to it - he would either have to comply or fight (mostly comply, in his case).  But with this command, it is unclear what the other wants, and Sans - not wanting to question him - is left in the dark as to how to respond.

So Sans decides that it would be best to just stay as still as possible and hope they forget about him.  Papyrus does a great job of that, seeming to instantly forget the other Sans’ existence, while Blue leans his head against his brother’s arm and almost instantly falls asleep.

Sans listens in on the robotic singer on screen.  There’s no Mettaton in this universe - or if there is, he didn’t get nearly as popular as his cousin.  Despite how graphic and strange Mettaton was, Sans finds himself feeling slightly homesick for the old programs.  He and his brother rarely watched them together, but when they did, Sans would stay as quiet as possible, hoping to make the moment last by not ruining it.  He certainly would never lean on his brother the way Blue was - Boss’d never allow something like that.

Without the distraction of his book, Sans feels his eye sockets get heavy.  Napstablook has started a slower song, and while the lyrics could use improvement, it was peaceful enough that Sans finds himself dozing off.  He fights to stay awake for a while, but in this universe, there is no reason to try to stay awake.  It is unlikely for someone to try to kill you, and his hosts never seem to care.  

Sans doesn’t really dream or even get to sleep deeply - though small, nonsensical visions of a robot dancing on stage do somehow get into his head as he sleeps.  When he next opens his eyes, he realizes he must have been sleeping for longer than he thought.  The lights are off and Papyrus is nowhere to be found.  Blue is sleeping next to him, a blanket draped over his body.  It is only then that Sans notices that he has also been rolled in soft fabric. 

There is a note on the table.

Sans pushes the covers off and reaches for the paper.

_ I’m going out for a little bit.  My brother took care of dinner.  I’ll be back in a few hours, so don’t wait on me. _

Sans shrugs and puts the note back.  A new thing he’s learned from coming to this time line; Blue can’t cook. Not that it matters too much to Sans - as long as he can douse it in mustard he’s fine.

So with Blue asleep and Papyrus out of the house, Sans has the night to himself.  He doesn’t have much to though.

He scratches lightly at the spine of his book with his fingers, considering continuing to read, but he can’t be bothered muster up the effort.

Sans rolls out of the blanket and wanders through the living room without purpose, struggling to think of any place to go. Any place that would be familiar to him in this foreign world.   He knew that Grillby’s was replaced with Muffet’s, and that his station was now Papyrus’, but everything was still in generally the same place as in his universe. He could go find one of his usual spots and spend kill some time there.  He sighs - it's not like he has anything better to do.

Sans pulls on his jacket and steps out into the snow.

\---

 

“alright, here's a new one.”

The giggling behind the door decreases slightly, seemingly muffled by a hand. Papyrus takes this as an invitation to continue.

“What is a foot long and slippery?” Papyrus can't help the stupid grin on his face, and he hopes it doesn't cause him to ruin the joke by laughing too soon.

"I do not know.  What is a foot long and slippery?” the low voice from behind the door speaks, similar mirth layering his tone.

“A slipper”

The pair laugh needlessly hard at that. Papyrus leans back against the door, giggles still escaping his teeth. Asgore seems similarly spent, having exhausted his jokes several minutes ago. Papyrus is always able to outlast him, but he honestly thinks that the ex-king's jokes are much better.

Papyrus sighs contently; it'll be time to go home soon, and he is  _ not  _ looking forward to it. Life has been a never ending roller coaster of challenges since the other Sans had come into his world, toting the broken shell of his own brother. Things had almost reached a state of normalcy before that, and while Papyrus still would trade anything for his brother's happiness and well being, he can't help but be frustrated at all the problems that this has caused. Papyrus' time to hang out with others was cut and the people in town had been starting some strange rumors, causing many of the people who he used to be friends to start to doubt his sanity – not to mention the trouble that the other Sans has been causing the town. The only semi-normal part of his life that remains intact are these little visits to his friend behind the Ruins door.

Papyrus closes his eyes and leans his head against the door, trying to quell the small headache that is forming at the thought of leaving his little sanctuary. It's rare that he has a moment's peace to do anything on his own anymore, and he just wants to enjoy it while it lasts instead of worrying about what he'll have to do when he gets back.

Because then there will be things to do, Sans to take care of, the  _ other Sans _ to keep in line and out of trouble...deep breaths, Papyrus has to remind himself – he doesn't want to worry his friend.

It seems it is too late of that, because the laughing has stopped, and the same voice with a new layer of worry comes through the door.

“Is something the matter, my child?”

Papyrus chuckles weakly, “nothin' – 'cept i haven't acted like a child in  _ at least  _ eight minutes.”

A weak laugh, followed by a sigh, “Well, I would bet you were a- _ door _ -able as a child.”

Papyrus snorts, “yeah, a real  _ bone _ tickler.”

There is another pause, before Papyrus stands up slowly. “welp, i need to get back to the house. maybe next week we can -”

Papyrus feels the world tilt, and his vision blinks out for a moment. He steadies himself against the door, knocking into it hard enough for a small thump to be heard by the man on the other side.

“Oh my! Are you alright?”

Papyrus' vision returns and he clenches his fist. Dammit! Why!? Why  _ here? _ This is supposed to be  _ his little sanctuary. _ Papyrus knows this feeling  _ very well _ , and if he's feeling it now, then that means -

“heh, what'dya know. didn't think you'd be  _ knocking  _ around these parts, eh?”

Papyrus wants to slam his head into the door until he dusts. Sans – the  _ other _ Sans – is standing not ten feet from him and the door. Papyrus groans, and opens his mouth to tell Sans to go back home, when the man's voice chimes in.

“Hello? Is someone else there?” His voice sounds worried, as if he thinks that there is about to be a fight. Well, he probably isn't wrong about that, but if there is, it's going to be  _ Papyrus  _ starting it.

“oh shit! hey...” Sans says, looking genuinely startled. “i, uh, wasn't expecting that.” Sans takes a few steps up to the door, almost completely ignoring Papyrus to investigate the stranger. After weeks of the skeleton cowering every time Papyrus opened his mouth, it felt almost wrong for Sans to just walk right past him. “who the hell are you?”

Papyrus wants nothing more than to smack his unwanted house guest over the head for being so rude to his jokes buddy, but to his relief, his friend merely laughs through the door.

“Who do you think I am?” He says warmly, and Papyrus thanks the angel in every way that he can think of that his friend is so polite.

“i dunno,” Sans says awkwardly, “i...uh...was kinda expecting toriel?”

Everything goes dead quiet, and Papyrus quickly retracts all his thanks to the angel. He is paralyzed by the sheer uncomfortableness of the situation, so all he can do is observe in mute rage as almost half a minute of silence goes by.

“Why...why would you think that?” The man asks quietly, a small shadow of grief clouding his voice.

“she's the one who...i mean, that was back in the other universe...but i just thought...maybe that she...we talked some and i...”

Papyrus finally finds himself again and wraps a fist around Sans' fluffy hoodie. Sans yelps as Papyrus pulls him up roughly and holds him at eye level. Sans' usual fearful expression returns, and Papyrus is sure that his eyes have gone dark.

“ _ go home, sans _ .” Papyrus says through gritted teeth, tossing the other skeleton to the ground. Sans gulps loudly and shuffles back barely a foot.

“Now wait just a moment,” Asgore's voice came through the door again, slightly more composed but still laced with that underlying desperation and make Papyrus' soul ache in sympathy. “How do you know my wife?”

“he doesn't.” Papyrus assures quickly. “he's just an idiot, and  _ he's leaving.” _

“wait, did he say  _ wife _ !?” Sans blurts out before Papyrus can stop him, terror entering his eyes and voice. “ _ Holy shit is that Asgore!?”  _ Sans looks close to panicking and Papyrus is close behind.

Papyrus puts his head in his hands, trying desperately to count backwards from five like Muffet had taught him to do. He makes it to three before he rushes to grab Sans by the arm, who quickly jumps back in an attempt to avoid capture. It fails and he is lock in Papyrus' death grip, squirming uselessly. Papyrus’ eyes are flaring - he can feel the magic pulsing bright orange and Sans’ face reflects his horror. In the next moment, Papyrus is holding nothing but empty space. Dizzy from the spacial distortion, Papyrus lowers himself to the ground and puts his head in his hands, partly to steady himself and partly from the sheer aggravation this situation has caused.

It takes a while before Papyrus remembers the man behind the door. He turns slightly, as if expecting to see him standing behind him.  The door is as untouched as ever, and the only sound that can be heard is that of the subterranean wind.  “.......you still there?”

“...”

Papyrus is about to get up and leave when there is quiet shuffling behind the door.  It doesn’t sound like his friend is leaving, so Papyrus scoots closer to the door. After about another minute of silence, Asgore breaks the silence.

“Who - who was that?”

Papyrus sighs.  “a long story.” There is another silence.  Papyrus thinks for a moment that he should just leave, but he knows that if he does the chances of him seeing his friend on the other side of the door again would be slim to none. He finally lets out a small laugh, “the guy really got your  _ goat _ back there, huh.”

There is a soft chuckle from behind the door and Papyrus smiles, knowing that, at the very least, Asgore wasn’t too mad.

After the tiny laughs die down, Asgore speaks again, “I am terribly sorry for not telling you my identity.”

“ ‘s cool, i kinda figured it out already.” Papyrus shrugs, “i guess it’s only fair i give you my name though.  i’m papyrus, pap the skeleton.”

“It is nice to meet you, Papyrus, I am sure you will be a skele _ ton _ of fun to be around.”

Papyrus smiles warmly again and enjoys the peaceful silence before the next inevitable question.  “Though I must insist that I know who that was.”  There was a pause.  “He…seemed to know my wi-...my ex-wife very well.”

Papyrus shook his head. “it’s not like that…he actually doesn’t know toriel at all - at least not the same one you know.”

“I am afraid I do not understand.”

Papyrus sighs. He is about to give a fake story about dementia practiced for just this kind of occasion when he stops himself.  Asgore is in exile (albeit self-imposed) in the Ruins, with hardly any connection to any other monsters...if there is a single monster he can tell about the insanity that has become of his life, it’s him.  Still…he doesn’t want to burden his friend with the odd knowledge of universes that he possesses.

“it’s kind of a long story.” Papyrus warns.

“Then I shall clear my ever so busy schedual,” Asgore says mirthfully.

“and it isn’t a pleasant one…”

“All the more reason to share it, Papyrus.” he says warmly,  “I know how difficult it can be to keep such painful things to yourself.”

That is all the prompting Papyrus needs, and he finally discloses everything.  The events of the past few years have weighed on Papyrus heavily, and up until now he has never fully discussed them with another being. It is liberating - like taking off a particularly heavy coat.  Papyrus finishes the story with Sans bring his brother back to him, and all of the trouble he’s gotten into since, expressing his concerns and fears for the future.  As he ends the story, he realises that Asgore hasn’t said a word since about when he started talking about the alternate universe.  It occurs to him that Asgore might think him insane now, and he slowly comes to a verbal halt.

“you…uh…do believe me…right?” Papyrus laughs nervously, not really helping him build a case for his sanity.

After a moment Asgore’s voice comes through the door, “F- Forgive me, Papyrus, these ideas seem to a little…beyond me.”

“yeah, it’s…pretty fucked up,” Papyrus scratches behind his skull lightly before quietly apologizing for cursing.  Though Asgore never berated him for swearing, he always feels the same father-like disapproval that Sans gives him when he does. He wraps his arms around his knees and continues, “it’s difficult. it really is. and i can’t tell anybody because they either wouldn’t believe me, or they’d be terrified.”

Asgore hums in understanding, “I see.  Well, I am glad you shared this with me.  I do not want you to feel as though you must hide everything from me just because I have hidden so much from you.  I see us as friends.”

Papyrus smiles.  “thanks, ‘gore.  sorry things  _ goat  _ so out of hand.”

Laughter bursts from behind the door and Papyrus smiles along.

“Goodness, how long have you been saving that one?” Asgore manages between breaths. 

“couple months.” Papyrus winks, despite nobody being able to see it.  “with this latest development comes wonderful new opportunities for puns. really opens some new  _ doors _ for us.” He says, tapping the door behind him.  

The two enjoy the relative peace, leaning back against the door before Papyrus breaks the silence yet again. “well, i need to get back home.” he says, standing up and brushing himself off.  “i didn’t mean to take up so much of your time.”

“Nonsense,” Asgore says,  “I enjoy talking with you.”

Papyrus stands for a few moments longer, then turns away from the Ruins door.  He makes it a few feet from the door before he hears his name called from behind the door.

“...yeah?”

“If all that you say is true, then I would try to understand your house guest and the world that he is from.” Asgore says. “It seems to me, from your story, that his world is not as forgiving as our own.”  There is a pause.  “My own child, Frisk, they were from a much harsher world as well, and it took a long time for them to come to understand our ways, and truly be comfortable here.  They needed time and guidance, but they eventually became docile once they knew they were safe.  I believe the same can be done for Sans - for as long as he stays, that is.”

Papyrus nods before remembering that he can’t be seen, and speaks, “alright, i’ll try.”

Papyrus doesn’t know where to even begin to trying to understand his brother’s counterpart.  The guy is a mess - beyond repair - and honestly?  Papyrus doesn’t want to put the effort into him when his brother is still so messed up himself.  The best course of action is to try his hardest to get his house guest back to his world.  Until then, Papyrus is  just going to have to coexist with him.  

It’s not going to be easy, but really not much has been for him lately.

**Author's Note:**

> You've made it to the second half!
> 
> Unfortunately, this part isn't finished, so updates won't be as fast, but these chapters are much shorter than the ones I normally write, so it shouldn't be too long between installments.
> 
> As always, leave a comment and your love below! They fuel me and help me gain the strength to write more. Even if it's just a "hello" it means the world to me.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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